This situation, to put it bluntly, sucks. I'd like to fix it, because hovering a scant two or three rolls above crippling depression and self-harm isn't a very nice place to be in for even a moment, much less a lifetime.

It does suck, and I recommend avoiding it in the strongest possible terms. But having spent 2/3 (and counting) of my life below that line, I'd like to point out that if you do fall below it, the experience will change you but it's not an endgame.

Now that that's out of the way, detailed recommendations:

* Look closely at your obligations, especially their priority order. Set taking care of yourself at the top of that list, if it isn't already. If it isn't, then you've probably been borrowing resources from self-care that will need to be paid back in, often at the most inconvenient possible time.

* See a professional. You'll get an outside view that isn't available anywhere else. And if their own hang-ups are getting in the way of their ability to help you, professional ethics requires them to refer you to someone who can.

* As far as books go, I've found Peoplewatching to be an extremely useful resource.