Boy, do I sympathize with this. It's taken me a couple of decades to deprogram from my family, and I'm still more likely to hide or lie when stressed than to tell the truth.

There are people who talk about "authenticity" as if it's an easy thing, and maybe it is for them. But I have no concept of being "in the moment," "authentic," or "honest" without having made the conscious decision and effort to be so. Along with dealing with the accompanying doubt that I'm actually being honest -- after all, if I have to consciously craft an "honest" persona, how honest can it be?