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Breaking the silence
If you're reading this, chances are you have no idea who I am.
You may have met me, you might be one of my close friends, or more often than not, you're someone who has absolutely no idea who this "Goldkin" character is or why the heck he added you to [add service here].
(Lots of words after the cut)
This isn't surprising. "Goldkin" is a name that I only came up with in the past four years. Up to that point, I've been a notoriously private person for reasons that shouldn't surprise anyone.
You see, I'm a dragon. Not just any sort of dragon, but someone that (like many who post here) considers himself otherkin. This should shock no one reading this, but bear with me here.
It's rather awkward to be typing this now, ten years after first realizing what was going on. For most of that time, I've hidden from public scrutiny, for fear of what people would think I meant.*
I'm finding this was a major mistake. While my choice then has shaped my life to this point, including my career, I would have been better off if I had asserted myself then instead of now.**
For those of you that did not make my mistake, or those at the cusp of doing so, allow me to describe how it changed my life:
Back in 2004, I chose to abandon my degree in Computer Engineering to pursue a less intensive, more generalist degree in Computer Information Systems. Because of this, I had plenty of time that I devoted to Linden Lab's Second Life.
Instead of asserting myself, I spent my entire time there developing tools that I would then give away for free. My justification for this has always been brutally simple: while I would never actually use them, I wanted dragons to exist in their world.
You see, even if I did not openly admit to being draconic, I would constantly attempt to manipulate their game from the margins. My work helped lead to Linden Lab releasing sculpties*** and more efficient building tools, which ultimately brought dragons into Second Life.****
What's strange is what came after. My work complete, I faded away from Second Life as it lost its popularity. I'm now sitting here, three years later, wondering what to do with my real life.
Because, at least currently, I'm unemployed. I recently left everything I've known to fly to Seattle. While this is good in many respects, and finally places me in a supportive community, I find myself looking back on the past ten years and wondering what the heck I was thinking.
My point? If they won't kill you, confront your fears. I promise you'll be better for trying.
---
* This is partially justified. During my time in Florida, a notoriously backwards state in many regards, most of my environs intolerant at best.
I'm also very bad at asserting myself, which is entirely responsible for the situation I am in now. I will have to describe that in more detail at a later time.
** I have many people to thank for being able to talk about it at all. If you're one of my close friends, you know who you are.
*** I was thanked for the idea, shown a pre-alpha build of the system, and flown to their main campus in 2007 to speak on one of their panels. I can't take credit for actually writing the code, but I like to think myself responsible for this.
**** To be fair, it has always been possible to have dragon avatars in some form. However, the avatar limitations were (and in many cases, remain) such that a fully-featured, articulated dragon avatar was itself a myth.
You may have met me, you might be one of my close friends, or more often than not, you're someone who has absolutely no idea who this "Goldkin" character is or why the heck he added you to [add service here].
(Lots of words after the cut)
This isn't surprising. "Goldkin" is a name that I only came up with in the past four years. Up to that point, I've been a notoriously private person for reasons that shouldn't surprise anyone.
You see, I'm a dragon. Not just any sort of dragon, but someone that (like many who post here) considers himself otherkin. This should shock no one reading this, but bear with me here.
It's rather awkward to be typing this now, ten years after first realizing what was going on. For most of that time, I've hidden from public scrutiny, for fear of what people would think I meant.*
I'm finding this was a major mistake. While my choice then has shaped my life to this point, including my career, I would have been better off if I had asserted myself then instead of now.**
For those of you that did not make my mistake, or those at the cusp of doing so, allow me to describe how it changed my life:
Back in 2004, I chose to abandon my degree in Computer Engineering to pursue a less intensive, more generalist degree in Computer Information Systems. Because of this, I had plenty of time that I devoted to Linden Lab's Second Life.
Instead of asserting myself, I spent my entire time there developing tools that I would then give away for free. My justification for this has always been brutally simple: while I would never actually use them, I wanted dragons to exist in their world.
You see, even if I did not openly admit to being draconic, I would constantly attempt to manipulate their game from the margins. My work helped lead to Linden Lab releasing sculpties*** and more efficient building tools, which ultimately brought dragons into Second Life.****
What's strange is what came after. My work complete, I faded away from Second Life as it lost its popularity. I'm now sitting here, three years later, wondering what to do with my real life.
Because, at least currently, I'm unemployed. I recently left everything I've known to fly to Seattle. While this is good in many respects, and finally places me in a supportive community, I find myself looking back on the past ten years and wondering what the heck I was thinking.
My point? If they won't kill you, confront your fears. I promise you'll be better for trying.
---
* This is partially justified. During my time in Florida, a notoriously backwards state in many regards, most of my environs intolerant at best.
I'm also very bad at asserting myself, which is entirely responsible for the situation I am in now. I will have to describe that in more detail at a later time.
** I have many people to thank for being able to talk about it at all. If you're one of my close friends, you know who you are.
*** I was thanked for the idea, shown a pre-alpha build of the system, and flown to their main campus in 2007 to speak on one of their panels. I can't take credit for actually writing the code, but I like to think myself responsible for this.
**** To be fair, it has always been possible to have dragon avatars in some form. However, the avatar limitations were (and in many cases, remain) such that a fully-featured, articulated dragon avatar was itself a myth.
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Personally, I'm working on an autobiography (a relatively short one) which illustrates who I am and why. In the meantime, Twitter and LJ provide a place for me to put my stuff.
... there are dragon avatars in SL? How do I get one, and how modable are they?