Although if changing the past gets you separated from causality in such a way that you become a rogue element in the fabric of spacetime, journeying through all possible worlds as some kind of fantastic cosmic nomad rather than causing you to merely cease to exist... heck, those life goals weren't all that great, were they? If they were really so important, your alternate self can worry about 'em. ;)
It speaks to my geekiness and upbringing that I'm imagining this as the bastard child of Groundhog Day, Sliders, and Quantum Leap. Which actually sounds kind of cool in that voyeuristic, fly-on-the-wall sort of way.
Anyway... those are my thoughts, but I'm curious and wish to know your rationale, Goldkin.
And... you nailed it. What you've written is precisely what I was getting at.
My rationale here is the convergence of two aspects of my psyche, combined with thoughts I've been dwelling on for quite some time.
The first aspect is crushing doubt from some pretty awful decisions I've made. I took degrees in college that haven't served me well, made decisions that kept me tied to a very limited view of the world, and isolated myself from much of my desired peer group for something approaching seven years.
The second aspect is my own willingness to help others without evaluating the effect it has on me. I can't help being a natural empath, which results in consistently focusing on the views and needs of others, very much at my own expense.
Combine with my propensity to believe that others have made better decisions. Of those others, many are similar enough to me that their decisions reflect the person I could have been. Add a pinch of fear of becoming what I should be -- which isn't what I am now -- and the hypothetical brilliantly echoes my thoughts.
***
The positive side is also very apparent. I have a strong willingness and desire to change, fueled by poor decisions and tempered by experience. If a failed college education is the price of understanding, it's quite possibly the best education I could receive in hindsight. And if the price of isolation is the value of understanding friendship and the power of ideas, then it was all worthwhile.
I'm still struggling with my own competence, though, and that reflects itself in the erratic nature of my journal posts. It's not easy to go from a complete stop to full speed in the direction I need to, especially without making mistakes along the way. Yet, I've been graced by friends who have been more than supportive and understanding, very much to my surprise.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2010-11-16 07:38 am (UTC)It speaks to my geekiness and upbringing that I'm imagining this as the bastard child of Groundhog Day, Sliders, and Quantum Leap. Which actually sounds kind of cool in that voyeuristic, fly-on-the-wall sort of way.
Anyway... those are my thoughts, but I'm curious and wish to know your rationale, Goldkin.
And... you nailed it. What you've written is precisely what I was getting at.
My rationale here is the convergence of two aspects of my psyche, combined with thoughts I've been dwelling on for quite some time.
The first aspect is crushing doubt from some pretty awful decisions I've made. I took degrees in college that haven't served me well, made decisions that kept me tied to a very limited view of the world, and isolated myself from much of my desired peer group for something approaching seven years.
The second aspect is my own willingness to help others without evaluating the effect it has on me. I can't help being a natural empath, which results in consistently focusing on the views and needs of others, very much at my own expense.
Combine with my propensity to believe that others have made better decisions. Of those others, many are similar enough to me that their decisions reflect the person I could have been. Add a pinch of fear of becoming what I should be -- which isn't what I am now -- and the hypothetical brilliantly echoes my thoughts.
***
The positive side is also very apparent. I have a strong willingness and desire to change, fueled by poor decisions and tempered by experience. If a failed college education is the price of understanding, it's quite possibly the best education I could receive in hindsight. And if the price of isolation is the value of understanding friendship and the power of ideas, then it was all worthwhile.
I'm still struggling with my own competence, though, and that reflects itself in the erratic nature of my journal posts. It's not easy to go from a complete stop to full speed in the direction I need to, especially without making mistakes along the way. Yet, I've been graced by friends who have been more than supportive and understanding, very much to my surprise.
It's just one of those things, y'know?