And this is where I believe your words are valuable - even if they're saying things that have been said before. ... Can't come to those realisations about how common your beliefs are without a mass of voices, after all.
My primary concern is one of research, introspection, and my lack thereof. As you might expect, my fear of a poorly-defined "somewhere else" is directly related to this.
Put politely, my cynicism severely clouded my judgment over the past several years. This is why, reflecting back on my accomplishments and few snatches of writing, I have no enduring story -- just tiny, scattered diamonds in the sand.
When I actually go about fixing this, the task seems daunting to me. After all, I could have easily spent the past years in college and my early career figuring this stuff out. (Instead, I chose to spend it hiding in Second Life, which, while interesting in its own right, hasn't been nearly as valuable to me in hindsight. It was directly responsible for a surprise rendezvous with baxil, Shiari, and others, though!)
Thus, it appears to me as if I'm an order of several years behind the curve of relevancy. Not for lack of trying, mind you, but for having focused on entirely the wrong things.
And if you worry about having something unique to say - I wouldn't. Like I said, you'll be unique just by speaking as yourself, because everyone tells the stories a little differently. And if you speak enough, you'll find yourself saying things that others haven't said before, sooner or later.
While uniqueness would certainly be a plus, perhaps I didn't speak precisely. I actually mean the combination of uniqueness and quality, which continues to elude me in my personal journaling.
This is, again, not for lack of trying. I simply spent my time elsewhere, and have a long way to go towards reaching competence.
(For example, I'd love to hear you talk more about what it felt like to shed your cynicism and actually grok what people were saying. And I think that would be valuable for others who've struggled with the meme that "cynicism = the only smart way to look at the world" to see, too. I know some who still struggle with fears in their heart that the cynics are right, who could do with it.)
Sheding the cynicism of several years was, in a word, liberating. In two, absolutely terrifying. And in three, just plain weird.
Instead of rambling on, I'd prefer to summarize this with a tarot analogy -- specifically, the Rider-Waitte depiction of The Hanged Man:
... which, in context, accurately conveys the need and desire for a new perspective.
I'm still winding down from being much too cynical, though. I will write about it, once my mind fully clears.*
(Also, let me know where you're finding these interesting posts and discussions! ... long story short, I like links to thoughtful things you may have found. :)
I'm finding them a bit here, a bit there, and more recently, whereever I chance to look. When I come across an interesting otherkin- or spirituality-related post, it tends to go straight to my Google Reader share.
In context, I'm talking about the small circle of people I read in journalspace (Read as: LiveJournal, DreamWidth, and scattered WordPress blogs. - Ed), many of whom I've read for several years and simply failed to understand. I tend to share those too, either by Reader, or by way of links in the few posts I write.
I'm also teasing at discussions I've had in person, which are becoming much more frequent. It helps to have local dragons to share your thoughts with! But, that is a topic for another day.
(Which includes general posts on spirituality as well, btw. And I shall stop cluttering your journal now.)
If you're interested in general spirituality and dare-I-call-it-New-Age, I highly recommend following Cat N' Owl. While their posts are distinctly slanted toward the practicing the tarot and Reiki, what's there is generally worth reading. The primary focus tends to be spiritual healing, intuitive studies, and interesting or clever methods of divination.
And by all means, clutter my journal if you have something interesting to say! I just can't promise to respond as rapidly as I'd like.
-- * It's probable that my cynical outlook and my lack of sleep are directly correlated. Hopefully, fixing the latter will aid the former.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2010-07-08 04:59 am (UTC)And this is where I believe your words are valuable - even if they're saying things that have been said before. ... Can't come to those realisations about how common your beliefs are without a mass of voices, after all.
My primary concern is one of research, introspection, and my lack thereof. As you might expect, my fear of a poorly-defined "somewhere else" is directly related to this.
Put politely, my cynicism severely clouded my judgment over the past several years. This is why, reflecting back on my accomplishments and few snatches of writing, I have no enduring story -- just tiny, scattered diamonds in the sand.
When I actually go about fixing this, the task seems daunting to me. After all, I could have easily spent the past years in college and my early career figuring this stuff out. (Instead, I chose to spend it hiding in Second Life, which, while interesting in its own right, hasn't been nearly as valuable to me in hindsight. It was directly responsible for a surprise rendezvous with
Thus, it appears to me as if I'm an order of several years behind the curve of relevancy. Not for lack of trying, mind you, but for having focused on entirely the wrong things.
And if you worry about having something unique to say - I wouldn't. Like I said, you'll be unique just by speaking as yourself, because everyone tells the stories a little differently. And if you speak enough, you'll find yourself saying things that others haven't said before, sooner or later.
While uniqueness would certainly be a plus, perhaps I didn't speak precisely. I actually mean the combination of uniqueness and quality, which continues to elude me in my personal journaling.
This is, again, not for lack of trying. I simply spent my time elsewhere, and have a long way to go towards reaching competence.
(For example, I'd love to hear you talk more about what it felt like to shed your cynicism and actually grok what people were saying. And I think that would be valuable for others who've struggled with the meme that "cynicism = the only smart way to look at the world" to see, too. I know some who still struggle with fears in their heart that the cynics are right, who could do with it.)
Sheding the cynicism of several years was, in a word, liberating. In two, absolutely terrifying. And in three, just plain weird.
Instead of rambling on, I'd prefer to summarize this with a tarot analogy -- specifically, the Rider-Waitte depiction of The Hanged Man:
... which, in context, accurately conveys the need and desire for a new perspective.
I'm still winding down from being much too cynical, though. I will write about it, once my mind fully clears.*
(Also, let me know where you're finding these interesting posts and discussions! ... long story short, I like links to thoughtful things you may have found. :)
I'm finding them a bit here, a bit there, and more recently, whereever I chance to look. When I come across an interesting otherkin- or spirituality-related post, it tends to go straight to my Google Reader share.
In context, I'm talking about the small circle of people I read in journalspace (Read as: LiveJournal, DreamWidth, and scattered WordPress blogs. - Ed), many of whom I've read for several years and simply failed to understand. I tend to share those too, either by Reader, or by way of links in the few posts I write.
I'm also teasing at discussions I've had in person, which are becoming much more frequent. It helps to have local dragons to share your thoughts with! But, that is a topic for another day.
(Which includes general posts on spirituality as well, btw. And I shall stop cluttering your journal now.)
If you're interested in general spirituality and dare-I-call-it-New-Age, I highly recommend following Cat N' Owl. While their posts are distinctly slanted toward the practicing the tarot and Reiki, what's there is generally worth reading. The primary focus tends to be spiritual healing, intuitive studies, and interesting or clever methods of divination.
And by all means, clutter my journal if you have something interesting to say! I just can't promise to respond as rapidly as I'd like.
--
* It's probable that my cynical outlook and my lack of sleep are directly correlated. Hopefully, fixing the latter will aid the former.