Stupid Google tricks: the ban that wasn't, and what you can do to get a Google account reinstated

[goldkin]

At around 19:00 PST, my Google account was banned without notice or notification. The ban affected all of my services with Google under the account. When I attempted to log in, I was redirected to this page:
http://www.google.com/support/accounts/bin/answer.py?answer=40695&hl=en&ctx=ch_ServiceLoginAuth&p=profiles

For those playing the home game, that's not a standard ban under the real names policy. That's a full account lock, signaling a more severe claim against the account. Common causes for this level of action include, from experimental evidence, a malicious party reporting a profile for Spam or Impersonation, though this is by no means the only way to disable the account of your choosing. Oh, I did mention this was exploitable, didn't I?

However, this doesn't speak much for the other end of the exchange. How did I get unbanned? And, furthermore, how did I get unbanned in a timely and painless manner?

(Standard disclaimer: this is only for informational purposes. Please don't make people's lives miserable by being a jerk with this information.)



Here's what you can do to get your profile reinstated quickly if someone takes hostile action against your account. Bear in mind, this is only pertinent to Google account suspensions. The reporting and escalation processes for name violations may be very different.


1) Don't panic. Flipping out and screaming obscenities at Google staff is probably not productive, though snide remarks towards the people responsible for these bone-headed policies are certainly acceptable.

2) Start with the standard review process. It's not your best shot for getting an account reinstated, but it's easy to do, and it gets you in the system if the remaining instructions fail.

3) Let your friends know you've been suspended, providing alternate contact information. This will reduce your anxiety while you wait. Information travels very quickly online, and getting the message out through alternate channels is painless and easy. If you so wish, set up a temporary alternate account to sop up the conversation. That's what I did.

4) If you do not know a Google employee capable of escalation, find one. They're surprisingly common. Just search through the lists of known Googlers if you don't already have one in your stream. Bear in mind, these may be people trying to help in their own free time that have nothing to do with the policy as written. Treat them with respect and gratitude.

4a) If you do not know a Google employee capable of escalation, find someone who does. These people are even more common, but harder to find.

5) Whine. Yes, it's not polite, but it expresses two things: (1) that there is a problem and (2) that you understand how to fix it. Be constructive. Be specific. And if you wish, feel free to let them know that I sent you through this handy-dandy guide.

6) On confirmation, check your Google login to see if the workflow has changed. For me, the support page above was quickly replaced with SMS verification, which I completed, quite ironically, using my Google Voice number from a secondary account.

7) If all else fails, escalate. To another employee or friend of one. It is my observation that Google employees passionate about their employer are glad to help, insofar as they're able to do so. Don't ask them why you were banned, though. They're not allowed to talk about it, under what appears to be an undisclosed gag order.

Of course, this isn't a sure thing if you're in violation of other Google policies. But for the rest of us, the channels exist to get in touch with Google in a productive way to get the issue quickly resolved.


To complete the story, my account was restored a scant three hours later. I lost no data -- and gained this experience in the process.

Not bad. Now if we could just remove this obviously unscalable set of policies, we might be able to get back to more productive things. Like talking about cat pictures.


Edit: I'm linking through to this article because my account is under challenge again, this time for the other variety of ban. Because there's no way for me to have a dialog with the reviewers over this, I figured I would attempt to bridge the gap here with a little blurb summarizing my identity above and beyond the contents of my Google profile.

I've had this account since 1/13/2008, back before Google Profiles were a thing. I've had my Google Profile for this account long before Plus. Going by your page, this is my first and last name, it contains no unusual characters or spellings, it represents one individual, it does not represent another individual, this is my name known to friends, family, and coworkers, and the rest don't apply.

But, here's the key: it isn't my wallet name. It isn't a nom-de-plume. Yet, it's the orthonym for my identity. So, please leave me be?

Comments

[lupagreenwolf]

Cool! Glad it worked out quickly, and thank you for this really useful guide!

[baphnedia]

Hmm. I'm wondering just what the hell is going on some days. But it's true, the Googlers cannot say why your account gets banned. Maybe this is a good policy, overall?

[altivo]

Nope, it's a vicious and misdirected policy. It makes all sorts of politically motivated and socially malformed vendettas possible and difficult to stop. In essence, it's the tools of a bully.